Things I know about...

Terefech:

*she loves fruit, seriously this girl can demolish an entire pineapple in one swoop

*her favorite color is yellow

*she is very specific about what clothes she likes and doesn't

*she has very curly hair

*she loves Ethiopian food

*she loves the pool and playing in the water

*she thinks her brother is pretty cool

*she prefers me to her dad

*she smiles and cocks her head to the side whenever she meets someone new

*she smiles a lot

*she loves to drink water

*she can swing really high all by herself

*she falls asleep fast...it is an amazing skill

Declan:

*he still loves to rock

*his favorite color is orange

*he loves fruit but not in the way his sister does

*he loves his sister....sometimes

*he doesn't like to put his face in the water

*he has a thing for 80s rock music

*he would rather use a hockey stick for a guitar than an actual guitar

*he can read really well

*he has a soft spot for dessert

*he still loves to snuggle in bed with me when he wakes up

Rich:

*he has great focus-doing yoga right now while Larry Boy is playing on the CD player and 2 kids are being crazy around him

*he is a great dad and husband

*his favorite color is blue

*he can eat more than both kids put together and me thrown in

*he too can fall asleep fast

*he loves to drink coffee, especially Ethiopian coffee

Friday....coming home

We were hugely relieved to get a call on Friday morning that we needed to come to the embassy. The call was actually from the embassy. We realized at that point that we or others had annoyed them enough that they really wanted us gone. We were happy to oblige.

On our other trips to the embassy, we looked nice. Showered, hair done, skirt on. Not on Friday. Unshowered, no makeup, jeans and white t shirt. Sorry! This time we answered questions and left with a passport and visa for Terefech. Sadly, the guards asked if we were really leaving this time or would we be back.

We spent the rest of the day playing, showering and getting ready to leave. Terefech was very excited to put on her airplane clothes (the kids all knew the word airplane) which she had wanted to put on for days. We headed to the airport with Ato Girma, the guest house manager, and were ecstatic to see that the line to get into the airport was non existent (yes, you line up to get in, it can be very, very, very long). Terefech had her first ever ride on an escalator (the only one in Ethiopia) and then we hung out for hours in the airport.

While waiting, several other parents arrived with their children (from other agencies). Rich and I both have to say it was rather uncomfortable to be the only white people in the airport and all holding Ethiopian babies. Just disconcerting. Something to think about.

The flight home was uneventful and we actually beat a family that had left the day before home because of delays. Terefech enjoyed the airplane, slept pretty well, and loved the DC airport. I was happy to have a burger and fries. We managed to get an earlier flight to Charlotte. Terefech really enjoyed that flight. She could see out of the window and we never went so high she couldn't see the ground. It was hard to keep her in her seat to get buckled up.

So happy to be home!!!!

Wednesday and Thursday

Well, these two days were spent mostly as Tuesday afternoon was. Calling and emailing. I learned my way around the CHSFS-Ethiopia office building, became friends with the secretaries, and learned what it is like to climb 5 flights of stairs while at altitude (the CHSFS lawyer informed me while we were on the elevator that she had once been trapped for 3 hours). Neither of us remember to much about either of these days. I slept but eating was not in my gameplan.

When the time came for the rest of our group to leave on Thursday, it was definitely hard. One of the families was on an earlier flight than the rest so we saw them off with tears in my eyes. In one way I am thankful that we headed off to email and call instead of seeing the rest of them off. I think I would have lost it. At that point, we had no idea how long we would be in Ethiopia and not leaving with everyone else was devastating. We changed our flight that night to the next day, being extremely hopeful that it would work out. Especially since it cost us a thousand dollars!

When we arrived back at the guest house in the evening, Terefech looked for everyone everywhere. It was hard to explain but she seemed to understand although would continue to say their names over and over.

Tuesday....yea!!!....then no!!!!

Tuesday was a wonderful day. We participated in a ceremony at the care center called the "Receiving Ceremony." All of the adoptive families are at the care center to officially receive their children. The social workers same some nice words, the children are recognized, we receive notes from the nannies and work of the children while they were at school. The other older children at the care center watch all of this and sing us songs during the ceremony. Although I can imagine it is difficult to watch others leave with their parents, I do understand that these children are being prepared for their own parents to come (all of the children at the care center have passed through court). Our children were dressed in traditional clothing which they kept. Terefech's dress and scarf seemed to give her great comfort on Tuesday and the days that followed. There is cake (which the four older children cut with a ceremonial knife), the kids leave a handprint in a book, and there is so much emotion. Terefech was excited but also realized the impact of the day. We were so lucky to take a picture with one of her nannies which we will treasure. Rich would probably like me to note that he was oblivious to the events of the day...that is why he is wearing his rainbow tie-dyed t shirt. He just didn't put it all together (we had talked about wearing things during this trip that you won't mind seeing for the rest of your life, these are important pictures) and now cringes when he sees the pictures.

It was an emotional moment leaving the care center. Terefech cried while leaving, cried in the bus, and cried once we arrived at the guest house. I cried right along with her. It is wonderful that she cried. It means she was attached to the nannies and she was sad to go. In the adoption world, this was good news but it broke my heart to see her endure yet another loss. She did recover with new clothes and shoes and necklaces. Guess that is what make all girls stop crying.

We had lunch at the guest house and then got ready to go to embassy. We waited for about 2 hours before getting called upstairs to the visa window. And that is where it all went wrong. We were met by 3 people, 1 who did the talking. They informed us that when the embassy had done their medical check on Terefech on 3/31/10, they had decided she was older than orginally stated. This new age placed her out of our home study age range and therefore, they would not grant her visa. I literally bit my lip to try and contain my emotions. They were oh so kind to tell us what to do and inform us that without congressional intervention, this could take weeks to get done. We then went into panic, flurry, crazy, numb, hysterical mode. We went to the Hilton where we could get internet access and a phone card. Rich played with Terefech in the lobby while I called and emailed. We then found out that another family had met the same fate so we moved over to the CHSFS offices to continue our work. It was no fun, stressful and just ridiculous. I have my own opinions as to where blame lies for this problem but we will never be sure. Needless to say, it was not a happy ending to our trip.

Monday night

Monday night was spent at Yod Absynnia, a cultural restaurant. They serve Ethiopian food as well as have good and music from the various regions in Ethiopia. Above, Ato Girma and our driver are experiencing gursha. In Ethiopian culture, feeding one another is like giving a friend a hug. Rich and I experienced this earlier in the week when dining with an Ethiopian family. It is great fun but also a gesture of love and friendship.

The dancers come out in to the audience and "target" people to dance with them. The no eye contact rule did not work. It was horribly embarrassing and caught on video so I will never live it down. It just established that Rich has way better moves than I do.

Monday..

On Monday, we got to bring the kids back to the guest house. It was a fun morning just hanging out with the kids and playing. It was amazing to see the look on Terefech's face as we pulled out in the bus. She was so excited. She had a great time at the guest house. We debated on showing her or letting her try on new shoes and new clothes. She got to see the clothes but we did let her wear some new shoes. It is hard to imagine what that feels like. She has most likely never owned anything new and certainly never had a closet with clothes that were just hers. It was a great morning but we did have to take the kids back to the guest house for the rest of the day. This will be the last time though...tomorrow they are ours!

We spent the afternoon at the National Museum and shopping. The museum houses "Lucy, " the world's oldest humanoid relic. She is currently touring in the US but we saw a copy. There was some amazing things in this regular building that is so unassuming. Museums in Ethiopia are so different than museums here. There are no attendants, items out in the open, and you are allowed to take pictures. We kind of felt like rule breakers while in the museum. After the museum, we went to a "textile market." One of the members of our group was on the hunt for a specific scarf and so our guest house manager, Ato Girma, took us on a special shopping expedition. We were greeted by a man in an Ohio State sweatshirt who ended up guided part of the group around the shopping area. We bought scarves, jewelry and other things. Rich walked off on his own and ended up playing soccer with some kids. It was a speedy 45 minutes but like most of the events in Ethiopia, it was memorable.

Sunday...our trip to Hosana

One of the things we love about our agency is that you take a trip to Hosana. This is the town in which our children were at an orphanage. It is also close to the region that most of our children come from. The bigger reason for the trip is that the adoptive families have the opportunity to meet members of the birth family. It is an incredible trip. It is hard to put in to words the meaning behind this trip and I will not even begin to try. The circumstances surrounding our visit will remain private for Terefech's sake. It is her story and her life, she will chose when she wants to share it. I will say that my comment afterwards was, "Childbirth was easy." I will be eternally grateful for that experience and hope that Terefech will be as well.

Unfortunately for us, it was a rainy day. Part of this trip is to see some of the development projects that our agency is involved in. In Hosana, they have a school (one of three that they operate) as well as a bakery. The bakery is a small business and provides jobs, income for families. The roads were not passable and so we headed home.

The countryside is incredible. A stark change from the look of the city. I think most of us just took in Ethiopia as we drove 4 hours south. Our only stop was in a small city to use the western toilets. That term is used loosely. I preferred the hole in the ground style. Our return trip was not silent as I thought it would be. Not sure if we were a particularly close group but looking back it seems that our conversations were for support. We were all very moved by this trip but also needed to talk. We are told that we will be friends with these people forever and this type of trip solidifies that notion.

Our return trip had added excitement in that we got a flat tire in a small village. We were in a small bus so this was quite an interesting event. Soon after our predicament, we were surrounded by the villagers. We were talking to them through the windows before they were all shooed off by the driver and social worker. We later learned that they thought we would be bothered by all the people. We did end up having to get off the bus because we were too heavy and they couldn't get the bus up and the tire on. I can imagine we were quite the sight as I am sure a busload of westerners don't hang out in their village too often. It was an interesting experience, not sure how we felt about being on display rather than interacting. We were kind of held at a distance, as if we were too good to be out with them.

Saturday in Ethiopia

Saturday was a morning spent at the care center. It was fun to play with the kids and to see their faces when we all showed up again. We were coming back. It is a challenge to play for hours with a child you barely know. We had lots of little toys but things always came back to games of hide and seek, balloons, bubbles, drawing...things the kids were familiar with. Terefech definitely responded to Rich's playful side and they were an item all morning. It was also fun to see all of the other kids in our group. Terefech wasn't particularly friends with any of the other kids but their presence gave her comfort. We left the kids before lunch and then headed out shopping for the afternoon. Rich and I had done some shopping before we joined the group so this was just additional shopping for us. We are taken to an area "by the old post office." It is where tourists are taken. When we had gone previously, we had started getting the hang of bargaining for things. It is a strange feeling, trying to bargain down the price of an item when it costs so little already. But that is what they tell you to do. When we went with the adoption group, no one would bargain. You would turn to walk out of the store (which had previously gotten, "what price do you want to pay?") and they would watch you go. A little maddening but we rolled with it. Now I wish we had bought more but you always have regrets. After shopping, the whole group went out for dinner. All of our meals were provided for us at the guest house but one of our group members was celebrating a major birthday so we headed out to a great restaurant for dinner. Rich and I had actually dined there when we were on our own so we recommended it. A little pressure but we hoped we were on the mark. Everyone in our group went and it turned out to be perfect. The restaurant is called Serenade and serves Mediterranean food and caters to westerners. We had a lovely dinner, delicious food, wine, appetizers, dessert, and a toast to the birthday boy. I think it was a great bonding experience for all of us. Relaxing and tasty as well! Thankfully, we had an accountant in our presence which makes dividing up the bill all that much easier (she got the job several times)! Thanks Kami!!!

Meeting Terefech

At the suggestion of Kami, I tried to journal since I knew I wasn't going to get to the blog very often when I was in Ethiopia. Here is what I wrote the night of the day we met Terefech.

Today we met Terefech. The basics...they take you into a small classroom with maybe 25 kids and call her name. She came right to us and gave Rich the biggest and tightest hug. I was completely overwhelmed (tearing up right now). I have no idea if she did that because she was supposed to or if she was truly that moved. The nannies finally told her to hug me (I think). She did with almost the same fierceness. We then went to the outdoor play area. The other families were with their children as well. Terefech was just as she had been described. She smiles from ear to ear, giggles at silly things, and is quiet. She engaged with us, teasing and playing. There were times when she held on tight as if making sure we were really there. We played with a squishy ball, connecting discs and read a book. Her favorite thing by far was the photo album. She loved seeing pictures of herself, the other kids, and us (especially Declan). When the other kids came out to play, it was amazing to see her get territorial with our toys as well as us. There wasn't room for Rich once a circle of kids swarmed around us. She reached out and pushed another kid out of the way to make room for him. There were times in our morning together when she seemed completely overwhelmed with everything that sat before her. I can't imagine what goes through a child's mind at a moment like this. How excited, scared, overwhelmed, happy, sad, the list goes on.

We left the children at lunchtime. It was hard leaving them knowing they had no idea if we were coming back. They have already endured more loss than I will ever know. Terefech left us easily but definitely looked back.

After completing some paperwork in the afternoon, we returned to the care center and got a surprise. More time with the kids! We all were a bit unprepared but made due with sunglasses, digital watches, extra copies of paperwork to draw on with pens, books, and general silliness. Also some Amharic cartoons thrown in. By the time we got ready to leave, Terefech was cuddled up with Rich. She seemed tired...drained from a memorable day. Again, it was hard to leave. It gives me hope to know the next time we see her we are starting on the road to showing her we will always come back.

Views of Ethiopia

Scaffolding...

Views from our first guest house...

Flight to Ethiopia

Well, it is long. We met fellow adoptee parent, Kami, at the DC airport. That helped pass the couple of hours til we boarded. There is no way around it. 16 hours on a plane is long. It is hard to sleep and we didn't. The views were amazing at times. The picture above is of the Sahara desert with the Nile running through it. It was completely unreal to see nothing but sand for a long, long time.

We did eventually land and made it through customs. Exchanged money at the airport. Nothing like exchanging money at a window where you look through and just see piles of money laying around aimlessly. Met our way out of the airport and made it to the guest house.

I will try to give the day by day story in the next couple of days!

Change of title

Declan informed me today that we needed to change the title of our blog...so we did. I am hoping in the next couple of days I can start loading some pictures and the story of our trip. I think we are finally sort of caught up on sleep so I might be able to stay up past 8 o'clock! Terefech is doing well, sleeping, playing, and being overwhelmed with all the newness. Of course it wasn't too much this morning at Kohl's...she wanted to buy everything! Promise to update soon!

stop

Do not call the congressman's office anymore.  Thanks for your support!

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Help

We need your help!  We are having difficulty with our visa and the US Embassy.  We are having to have our home study updated and then it will most likely have to go back through immigration (USCIS).  As you can figure, this may take awhile.  I have contacted our congressperson, Larry Kissell, for help on this but this is where I need your help.  If you know someone or know someone who knows someone, please call them.  We need people with importance to call him and let him know this is an important issue.  We are needing our Visa 37 expedited through USCIS.  Feel free to call your congressperson and let them know this is important or if you are in the North Carolina area call Larry Kissell's office.  My contact there is Drew Wall at 704-786-1612.  Thanks for your help....this is the time we need favors called in!

One more thing...

Tell that girl I am not sick...you know who you are.

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Day 2 Ethiopia

Went to the Entoto mountains and saw Saint Mary's Church and some relics from various kings.  Amazing that they keep relics that are hundreds years old in a simple building with simple glass boxes.  American historians would have heart attacks.  Dodged donkeys and women with eucalyptus cuttings on their backs, hauling them down the mountain.  Quite an amazing feat that women carry firewood down a mountain on their back to be paid pennies for it.  We then went to Africa's largest open air market.  It was crazy and amazing.  We didn't get out and shop, not to good of a place for Westerners.  I did get kisses blown at me from a couple of men, though.  We have had a great time with our guide Aki and driver Ephrem.  Took them to lunch at Kaldi's coffee.  It is a copyright enfringement of Starbuck's down to the fireplace, paintings and chairs.  Oh, one exception, the coffee sucks at Starbucks, not so at Kaldi's and was way cheaper!  A venti cup of coffee....50 cents.

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We made it1

We are here in Ethiopia after a long flight.  Traveling for that long is definitely a challenge.  Rich enjoyed his Italian meal we ate after refueling in Rome.  Another woman from our agency and her friendwere also on our flight. We arrived at night, made it through immigration and customs rather quickly and headed to our hotel.  Had a good nights sleep, reorganized the luggage and had injera for lunch.  We are staying at a guest house that serves primarily adoptive parents so it has been a great learning experience being with the other parents.  We are off for a tour of the city with Aki this afternoon.  We will attempt to keep updating during our stay.  The power usually goes out each evening.  Last night it was just as we started to go to our room and get ready for bed.  Made finding the flashlights a challenge!  Internet connection is also "variable" so we'll try!